Advent Children Complete Countdown Party!
by Haruko Kurimasu
Summary: The residents of both the Lifestream and Edge have a week-long countdown to their high-def release of ACC! Watch or rather, read as the crew reflects on their best moments from AC: Abridged!
1. Tally it UP!

**01. TALLY IT UP!!!**

Hello once again, readers! It it I, Haruko Kurimasu, also known as HK by the characters of the Final Fantasy VII universe!

Residents of the Lifetream and Edge: Hello!

To count down the days until the highly anticipated release of _Advent Children Complete_, how about we do an awards show type of deal?

Angeal: "Again with the ACC, HK?"

HK: "W-What's wrong with that?!"

Angeal: "Well, it's great to see you chipper and upbeat about this film, but isn't this going a bit far?"

HK: "But I like hype-- no, I LOVE IT! I LOVE HYPE!"

Angeal: "-sigh-"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Go on, HK!"

Anyhoo, for all of those who've read Advent Children Abridged, I want you to tell us your top five favorite scenes. By the end of next week, at the latest, I will tally up the votes. The Top Five List will include the best five scenes of AC: Abridged! So, the five scenes with the highest votes will win, dig?

Cid: "We (BEEPING!) dig (BEEPING!) IT! Let the (BEEPING!) readers (BEEPING!) vote already!"

Um, your top five don't have to be in order, readers!

Cait Sith: "So lassie, how weel the readers tell us their favs?"

Um, for example, they can say: "I like the part when Angeal did the drunken macarena in the _24 _montage parody!"

Angeal: "Hey, I thought we had agreed to NEVER bring that up again..."

TOO LATE!

But, if the 24 montage parody and Angeal's drunken macarena both get votes--

Angeal: "HK!"

--then all of those votes will count towards that scene!

Angeal: "Yes, I think they get it now... Please stop..."

HEY, MACAREEEEEEEEEENA!

Everyone Else: "AIIII!"

Angeal: "Good Goddess..."

* * *

Don't worry, we'll get more surprises from the FFVII cast!

NEXT TIME!

The team gathers at the Seventh Heaven for a karaoke party! Which song will Vincent sing for us? And will Cid make it in (BEEPING!) time from his (BEEPING!)holics Anomyous session to sing his duet with Nanaki?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME!


	2. Karaoke Party

**02. KARAOKE PARTY**

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Angeal: "Wait, why is my name included as a main character? And why is it next to yours?"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! It's for the ratings!"

Angeal: "?"

Aerith: "People recognize us as slapstick comedy!"

Angeal: "Yeah, I gets the slap and you gets the stick..."

Reno: "Wait! What about me and Rude?!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! You two are just the Two Stooges! Nothing special!"

Angeal: "More importantly, how are able to communicate with us? We're dead, and are in the Lifestream."

Reno: "Death can't stop the power of Facebook!"

Angeal: "-looks over at Aerith, who's logged onto Facebook- ...Oh."

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

_Angeal reads Aerith's status, which says, "Aerith Gainsborough is plotting the downfall of a certain busty bar hostess. Tee hee hee!"_

Angeal: "I have a bad feeling about this..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Tifa: "Ah-CHOO!"

Marlene: "Are you sick, Tifa?"

Tifa: "No, I was just subjected to a commonly overused Japanese cultural gag."

Marlene: "?"

Tifa: "Grrr! I mean... nevermind! Must... remember... anger... management... classes..."

Barret: "Yo foos, where is everyone?! We're about to start!"

Tifa: "Barret, did you at least remember to send out the invitations?"

Barret: "What's that supposed to... mean... -sees the unsent invitations on the counter- (BEEP!)"

Tfa: "Le gasp!"

Barret: "What, foo?!"

Tifa: "Your daughter's in the room! You shouldn't swear in front of children!"

Barret: "Since when did you become the perfect parental figure, woman?!"

Yuffie: "Sexist, SEXIST!"

Barret and Tifa: "....."

Yuffie: "Um, NINJA AWAY! WHOOSH!"

Tifa: "A-Anyway, I'm very responsible! I'm a terrific idol for family values!"

Barret: "Aight, then. Don't get so worked up!"

Marlene: "Umm, where's Denzel then?"

Tifa: "...Crap."

* * *

-In parody of an episode of Two and a Half Men, Denzel is standing outside of Aerith's church. In the rain. Soaking wet-

Denzel: "Why does this feel like deja vu?"

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Tifa: "Er, heh heh heh..."

* * *

-Meanwhile, Cloud Strife is picking up party stuff at the Edge's Gil or Two Store-

_Life any guy, Cloud holds out his arm to the shelf, and knocks down all of the contents into his shopping cart. He then bumps into a married couple, who happen to be Zack's parents._

Cloud: "...Sorry."

Mrs. Fair: "That's oka-- ZACK?!"

Cloud: "WHAT?!"

Mr. Fair: "No dear, you're mistakened. That's not Zack."

Mrs. Fair: "No no, it IS ZACK! Right Zack?! I knew you'd come back!"

Cloud: "O-O"

Mr. Fair: "Dear, Zack has black hair. BLACK."

Mrs. Fair: "But you dyed it, right cupcake?! -gives Cloud a stranglehold-like hug-"

Cloud: "Can't.... breathe...!"

Mrs. Fair: "Hooray! I have my little boy back!"

_Then enters the Two Stooges, Reno and Rude._

Cloud: "...Crap."

Reno: "-spots Cloud and waves- What's up, blondy!"

Mrs. Fair: "Who are THOSE two?"

Reno: "I'm Reno. Reno of the Turks!"

Mrs. Fair: "Turks? THE Turks?! Undercover agents, loyal to the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company, secret assassins, kidnappers, etc?"

Rude: "That's correct."

Mrs. Fair: "...Never heard of them."

Reno: "-Anime sweat drop-"

Cloud: "Please let go, Mrs. Fair. I can't breathe..."

Mrs. Fair: "Now Zack, just because you're all grown up, doesn't mean you have to stop calling me 'Mom'!"

Mr. Fair: "Dear... This clearly isn't our son..."

Mrs. Fair: "Don't be ridiculous! This IS Zack! Even though he's eight inches shorter and a lot scrawnier than I remember him, he's still my sweet little pumpkin tart!"

Reno: "Coughlolroflcough!"

Mrs. Fair: "I think you should get that cough checked out. Anyhoo, my little Zacky-Wack is back!"

Rude: "Snack."

Reno: "Pack!"

Rude: "Alack."

Reno: "CLACK!"

Cloud: "O-O"

Rude: "I hope you didn't say what I thought you just said... -anime sweat drop-"

Reno: "Say wh-- OH SHI--!!!"

Cloud: "-pulls out First Tsurugi with angry glint in eye- Omni-_SLAAAAAAAASH!"_

* * *

-Back at Seventh Heaven, ten minutes later-

Tifa: "I'm sorry I forgot you Denzel! The time just flew, and I was so busy--!"

Denzel: "Ahh-CHOO! I think I have a cold."

Marlene: "No, someone's just talking about you!"

Denzel: "?"

Tifa: "Eh heh heh heh..."

Denzel: "Ahhhhhh-Choooooooo!"

Tifa: "Both of you, go upstairs."

Marlene: "But, I'll catch his cold!"

Tifa: "Do you think I care?! Clo-- everyone will be here soon! And this is a bar! Kids shouldn't be in bars!"

Denzel: "CoughresponsibleadultNOTcough!"

Tifa: "Umm, your're gonna see a doctor tomorrow! Go to bed-- NOW!"

Denzel and Marlene reluctantly go upstairs.

Tifa: "-wipes away sweat drop- Whew! I'm such a good mom!"

Cloud: "Umm..."

Tifa: "WHOA! I mean, you're home?!"

Cloud: "Uh, yeah. Got the party stuff. -holds up shopping bag-"

Tifa: "Uh, yeah! That's right! Oh! Who's that?"

Mrs. Fair: "Oooh, is she that girlfrind you wrote to me about once, Zacky?"

Cloud: "Uh, this is Mrs. Fair--"

Mrs. Fair: "'Mom', Zack! Don't need to be so formal with me!"

Cloud (whsipering to Tifa): "She thinks I'm Zack."

Tifa (whispering back): "Huh?!"

Mrs. Fair: "Are those real, dear?"

Tifa: "Excuse me?!"

Mrs. Fair: "Hee hee hee. Well, I'll leave you kids alone. -wink-"

Cloud and Tifa: "O-O"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lfestream-

Zack: "Now do you see why I left Gongaga?"

Angeal: "And I thought MY mother was embaressing..."

Gillian: "What was that?! -whacks Angeal in the back of the head-"

Angeal: "-rubs head- Oow..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge: 1 hour later. 8PM-

Vincent: "Oh, how fares the scorching night..."

Yuffie: "Dwah? Scorching?"

Vincent: "-sigh- I was trying to think of an opening line for a new couplet... Now I lost my train of thought..."

Cait Sith: "Thank goodness yee stop heem, lassie!"

Yuffie: "Be quiet, you dumb, badly-accented plush toy!"

Cait Sith: "Yee need to work on yee insults, yee spring chicken!"

Vincent: "Spring... chicken? That's it! The final line of my couplet! -begins to rant about poetic justice-"

Cait Sith and Yuffie: "Le Groan!"

* * *

-8:02PM-

Tifa (into the mic): "Let's start this party already! Yeesh!"

Everyone Else: "Umm, yay?"

Vincent: "The very notion that karaoke and Blu-Ray are simly related boggles my troubled heart."

Tifa: "Who's first? Anyone? No? -sigh- I'll go first..."

_'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls pop up on the karaoke screen..._

Tifa: "(Ha! This is an easy one! I'll knock the socks off of Cloud with this little number, and maybe a bit more... Heh heh heh...)"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Aerith: "What?! I don't think so! _ZAP!"_

Angeal: "What's with the voice-induced _ZAP!_ sound effect, Aerith?"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! You'll see!"

Hollander: "I'm wearing flip-flops!"

* * *

Tifa (singing): "Yo, tell me what you want, you really REALLY want, then tell me what YOU want, 'cause I really really want..."

Everyone Else: "(Are these actually the lyrics?)"

Tifa (still singing): "If you gotta be my lover, eat the pants of my friends... I'll kill you forever... Friendships punch a hand... Huh?"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Aerith: "Mwahaha-- I mean, tee hee hee..."

Angeal: "..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Tifa: "(Grrr! It's that infuriating flower girl! Didn't she ruin my chances with Cloud enough in AC: Abridged?! Grrr, I wanna break SOMETHING!)"

Barret: "Boo! -throws popcorn at Tifa-"

Tifa: "Hey! -cracks knuckles-"

Cloud: "Err..."

Tifa: "Cloud, stop me from roundahouse kicking Cait Sith!"

Cait Sith: "Why me, lassie?!"

Tifa: "Because nobody loves you!"

* * *

-At the WRO Headquarters-

Reeve: "-Sniff- Nobody... cares? -sob-"

Shalua: "Sir, please shut up."

Reeve: "-Sob!-"

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Yuffie: "I wanna go next! Me! Me!"

Vincent: "No."

Yuffie: "Huh? WHY NOT?!"

Vincent: "I believe that we all agree that we're tired of hearing the Naruto theme songs and various, replusive overused quotes."

Yuffie: "That's not true! Believe it!"

Everyone Else: "...................."

Yuffie: "Oh! Heh heh heh... -slinks away into a dark corner- Hokagehokagehokagehokagehokagehokage...."

Nanaki: "By the way, where's Cid?"

Vincent: "He's still at his (BEEPING!)holics Anomyous session."

Nanaki: "Well, he better get here in time for our duet!"

Everyone Else: "Is it....?"

Nanaki: "For the last time, NO! It's not the 'Circle of Life'! Yeesh!"

* * *

Next Time!

Cid arrives (finally) to give his standing ovation.... NO! NOT THAT SONG EITHER! Also, Vincent reveals his love for Lucrecia through the scratchy wire of the mic! And will Cait Sith ever gain enough fans so Reeve can recover from his (silly) trauma? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!


	3. Singing Duet of Doom

**03. SINGING DUET OF DOOM**

HK: "YAY! As of now, we have our Top Five!"

Angeal: "HK, it was only YokaiChick that wrote in with her fiv--"

HK: "Top Five! Top Five!"

Hollander: "I'm wearing flip flops!"

Angeal: "-groan- I don't know how that idiotic phrase got voted..."

HK: "WAIT!"

Angeal: "?"

HK: "We have a second review! The flip flops joke is taking the lead!"

Angeal: "-shakes head and sighs deeply-"

HK: "But, what chapter was 'my emo senses are tingling' from? It's been a while; I'm gonna go re-read!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Four more days!"

Angeal: "No wonder HK's acting like thi-- WHOA! Don't pop up from behind me like that!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Yuffie: "I wanna sing NOW!"

Everyone Else: "NO!"

Tifa: "How about... you, Vincent?"

Vincent (reading the Introduction to _'Salem's Lot_): "Hm?"

Tifa: "Sing a song, Vincent!"

Barret: "Are ya crazah, woman?! Vince can't sing anything half-decent!"

Tifa: "Huh?! Why's everyone jumping onto my case today?!"

Vincent: "...Fine. I shall sing."

Everyone Else: "WHOA! Seriously?!"

Vincent: "My tranquil, mundane musical talents will tide us over until Nanaki and Cid sing The Pokemon theme song."

Nanaki: "Why is everyone so hellbent on these magical animal stereotyes that are rudely stapled to my name and reputation?"

HK (randomly singing): "--Gotta catch 'em all! It's you and ME! I know it's my Des-ti-NEY! Poke-MON! O-o-o-oh, you're my best friend--!"

Nanaki: "Stop that!"

HK: "Don't trample on my vague childhood memories, Charmander! -pops out of Seventh Heaven in a whiff of smoke-"

Cid: "(BEEP!) I'm (BEEPING!) here!"

Vincent: "Unfortunately, you must wait in line, Cid. I'm due to be on stage."

Cid: "(BEEP!) YOU!"

Vincent (goes up to karaoke machine and picks up mic): "I dedicate this next piece--"

Tifa: "A-HEM!"

Vincent: "--I mean, this song to... the love of my love, Lucrecia."

Everyone Else: "Awwww!"

Vincent: "If she had not been condemned to the wily deceit of that madman... that Hojo... that lowlife cretin BASTARD!!--"

Everyone Else: "Err.."

Vincent: "--Then her and I would be locked within a spiral of matrimonial paradise. Well, here's the song."

Cid (whispering to Nanaki): "I have a bad (BEEPING!) feeling about this..."

Vincent (singing somberly): "Long ago... Just like the hearse, you die to get in again... We are so far from you..."

Cid: "-facelance-"

Nanaki: "-facepokeball- Oh, wait..."

Vincent (still singing): "When both our cars COLLIDE!"

Everyone Else: "O-O"

Vincent: "Er, I'm done."

Everyone Else: "Whew!"

Vincent: "But, I can start up a new number--"

Everyone Else: "NO!"

Cid: "(BEEP!) NO!"

Vincent: "...Are your ears deaf to the true poetry, resounding in music?"

Cid: "No, but we (BEEPING!) might as (BEEPING!) well be (BEEPING!) deaf after that (BEEPING!) performance!"

Tifa: "Cid and Red! Get up on stage! NOW!"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

HK (still randomly singing): "We're gonna catch a Pi-kaa-chuuu!"

Angeal: "Okay, who left _Pokemon_ on this morning?"

Yazoo: "Not us. We only watch what Mother thinks is fitting. Right Kadaj, Loz?"

Kadaj: "-nods head-"

Loz: "Err..."

Kadaj and Yazoo: "Looooz..."

_Just then, Loz's cell phone rings. The_ Spongebob Squarepants _theme songs echoes strangely throughout the surrounding Lifestream, er, 'room'._

Yazoo: "Traitor."

Loz: "But guys, this is a misunderstanding!"

Kadaj: "That's a big word for you! Did you learn it on that yellow cleaning utinsil's show?! -whacks Loz on head comically-"

Yazoo: "What would Mother say if she knew you've disappointed her in this way?"

Loz: "It came free with the subscription! Honest!"

Kadaj: "What's next, Loz?! _iCarly_?!"

Loz: "...Meep. O-O"

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Cid: "Al-(BEEPING!)-right! We'll knock your (BEEPING!) tea cups off!"

Everyone Else: "Uh, what?"

Cid: "(BEEP!) What are we (BEEPING!) singing, Red?!"

Nanaki: "Nothing stereotypical, Cid."

Cid: "(BEEP!) Now this is gonna (BEEPING!) suck!"

_Four hours later of deep, spiritual thinking..._

Everyone Else: "....."

Nanaki and Cid: "Hmmmmm..... Got it!"

Everyone Else: "Hooray!"

Cid (coughs into fist): "O-(BEEPING!)-kay, let's star-- YAWN! -looks at watch(?)- (BEEP!) It's midnight! I gotta have my (BEEPING!) midnight earl grey tea! (BEEP!)"

Everyone Else: "What?!"

Cid: "We'll (BEEPING!) finish this (BEEPING!) later! -runs out the door-"

Cloud: "I think he just didn't want to sing..."

Tifa: "Grrr! I was YOU again, wasn't it?! -shakes fists at the ceiling-"

Cloud: "?"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

Angeal: "Aerith..."

Aerith: "I had nothing to do with it!"

Angeal: "Then what's that in your hand?"

Aerith: "Just some tea bags. I'm doing tea leaf readings later!"

Angeal: "Oh, well that's fine-- Wait, what kind of tea bags?"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

-On the _Shera-_

Cid: "Where's my (BEEPING!) earl gray?!?!?! (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shera: "Captain! Remember your blood pressure!"

* * *

NEXT TIME!

The residents of the Lifestream decide to have their own party! Will Angeal do a Mad Eye and mix his own drinks? Will Hollander ever make up some new material for his failing comedic career? Ad will Mrs. Fair ever tell the difference between a chocobo and porcupine, hair-style wise? Tune in next time!


	4. Party like a SOLDIER

**04. Party like a SOLDIER**

Angeal: "What happened with this 'singing duet' gag you previewed in the previous segments?"

HK: "Watcha talking about? Cid decided to bail out on his own!"

Angeal: "HK..."

HK: "Oh, would you LOOK at the time! Gotta bounce! -pops out in a whiff of smoke-"

Angeal: "...Is she a magician or something?"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lfestream-

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

Angeal: "Aerith..."

Aerith: "Tee hee hee, why are you glaring? -puts on sweet, angel smile. Anime sparkles surround her head-"

Angeal: "Enough with the 'tee hee heeing'! What are you planning?"

Aerith: "Hey Zack, wanna have our own karaoke party?"

Zack: "Do I ever!"

Aerith: "Then it's settled! I'll send the Mook Squad to get the party supplies!"

Biggs: "Who are you calling a mook?!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

Flay: "If it isn't the Mook Squad!"

Tony: "Who are you calling a mook?!"

* * *

Angeal: "You've changed the course of the discussion again..."

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! You're silly, Angy!"

Angeal: "Anyway, you shouldn't be ruining Tifa's party anymore if you're having you're own. Got it?"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Don't worry, Aerith's a good girl!"

* * *

Zetsu: "Tobi's a good boy."

Tobi: "That's right! Tobi won't disappoint!"

* * *

Angeal: "Enough with the vague anime references!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

_Zack arrives at the Lifestream's own version of the Gil or Two Store..._

Zack (humming): "I'm humming an anime title theme song! Hum hum hum, my hair's spikey! Hum hum hum! -bumps into a woman- Oh, sorry!"

Mrs. Strife: "Cloud, is that you?! Oh my, you've grown at least eight inches! And you've dyed your HAIR!"

Zack: "Oh, crap..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Barret: "Yo, foos! What are we gonna do now?!"

Cait Sith: "I theenk the drunk lost his tea bags!"

Cid (from outside): "I AIN'T NO (BEEPING!) DRUNK!"

Cait Sith: "Thee old man has a chip on hees shoulder!"

Cid (still from outside): "What's with the (BEEPING!) broken English, ya (BEEPING!) stupid cat?!"

Cait Sith: "It's me accent! Blame HK for her bad portrayal of thee Scottish folk!"

HK: "No broken Scottish accents were harmed in the making of this segment!"

Cait Sith: "What yee say?!"

HK: "Talking plush toys, on the other hand... heh."

Cait Sith: "What?! Noooooooooooooooooo, thee crazy pilot is chasing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tifa: "Wait, when did Cid get back inside?!"

Cid (chasing Cait Sith): "(BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!)"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Zack: "Aerith, I'm back!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Who's this?"

Zack: "Mrs. Strife."

Mrs. Strife: "Now Cloud, just because you're all grown up doesn't mean you can't call me 'Mom'!"

Angeal: "I'm getting this strange case of deja vu here..."

* * *

NEXT TIME!

PARTY STARTS! 'Nuff said. Plus, HK helps save her arch-nemesis's party get back on track. But what song will she (horribly) sing? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!


	5. Don't Stop Cloud Now!

**05. Don't Stop Cloud Now!**

HK (singing): "'Cause I'm having a good time, having a GOOD TIME!"

Angeal: "Please stop singing."

HK (Still singing despite Angeal's protests): "That's why they call me MR. FARENHEIT!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

HK (stops singing, fortunately): "Oh, hello Aerith!"

Angeal: "That's... odd. It seems that Aerith's fan-created annoying catchphrase has stopped HK's horrible singing!"

HK (singing): "Do you like waffles?"

Aerith (singing): "Yeah I like waffles!"

HK and Aerith (singing): "Doo doo doo doo, can't wait to get a mouthful!"

Angeal: "Good grief..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Tifa: "Both of you, GET OUT!"

Cid: "(BEEP!)"

Cait Sith: "Thee woman is a scary lassie!"

Tifa (cracks knuckles): "Grrr! ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!"

Cid and Cait Sith: "Yikes! -runs out of Seventh Heaven-"

Tifa: "-wheeze, huff, huff-"

Vincent: "Oh, how the gods have cursed women with relatively brief existing fuses..."

Tifa: "Don't you get it?! It's all that damn flower girl's fault!!"

Vincent: "...blaming the mourned deceased with their delicately outrageous troubles..."

Tifa: "That's enough out of you! Hiiiiiiiiiii-yah!"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Mrs. Strife: "Oh, is this your girlfriend? I'll leave you two alone. -wink-"

Zack: "YukaiChick's right. There's definately a theme going on here..."

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

Angeal: "Well, Tifa's on a rampage. Happy yet, HK?"

HK (singing): "What can I do for you? I can't HEAR YOU!"

Angeal: "HK!"

HK: "Whaa?! Oh, hey Angeal!"

Angeal: "Were you even listening to me?!"

HK: "You were speaking?"

Angeal: "-sigh- Nevermind."

HK: "No no, speak up!"

Angeal: "I said, are you happy now? Tifa's a complete wreak!"

HK: "I'm just mad that there's no Doritos at that party!"

Angeal: "HK..."

HK: "OK, so this has been a complete waste of time! A Countdown Party should be more fun! How about--"

Angeal: "You can't invite your old readers, you know. You might portray them wrong."

HK: "Well, I definately portrayed YOU wrong, haven't I?"

Angeal: "Er, let's not be hasty here! Just... breathe, alright?"

HK: "OK...."

Angeal: "..."

HK: "I... got it!"

Angeal: "?"

HK: "Be back in a jiffy! -poofs into whiff of smoke-"

Angeal: "I've GOT to figure out how she does that!"

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Tifa: "-glug glug glug-"

HK: "Le POOF!"

Tifa: "-accidently smashes wine bottle in her hand- WHOA!"

HK: "Er, yo!"

Tifa (drunken slur): "Who... are you? Blaaaargggh!"

HK: "Eeeew!-- Wait, you didn't even hurl!"

Tifa: "No, I whassss makin' the notion that I hurled!"

HK: "All you did was making the sound effect of someone spewing their noonly contents!"

Vincent: "Please cease your discussion on upwards bowel movements."

Tifa and HK: "...OK."

* * *

-10 weird minutes later-

Tifa: "So, what did you want...."

HK: "?"

Tifa: "Hey, I know you!"

HK: "(Uh oh.) Well, I'm just your friendly neighborhood Ovaltine drinker!"

Tifa: "You're in with that FLOWER GIRL!"

HK: "Well, I must admit that I was once a flower girl for a relative's wedding many moons ago..."

Tifa: "Hiiiiiiiiiiii-yah!"

* * *

-Several roundahouse kicks later-

HK: "Fine, I deserved it."

Tifa: "Damn straight that you did!"

HK: "But!"

Tifa: "But?"

Cloud: "Butz?"

Butz: "Boco!"

HK, Tifa and Cloud: "Er..."

* * *

HK: "I've decided to redeem my devious ways!"

Tifa: "And would I be interested in that?!"

HK: "Because I feel bad that there's no Doritos!"

Tifa: "?"

HK: "I mean, for playing a major role in your recent downfalls."

Vincent: "A plural?"

HK: "Indeed."

Tifa: "..."

HK: "And I know this isn't really a Countdown party anymore, since ACC has already debuted approx. nine days ago. But, the party shall still continue!"

Tifa: "And why's that?"

HK: "Elementary, my dear Lockhart. It's because I'M still counting down the days until I can fully witness ACC for myself!"

Vincent: "So, this is a selfish redemption..."

HK: "Exactly! Now, do you want my help, Tifa?"

Tifa: "Er..."

* * *

TO BE CONINTUED!!!


	6. With Trenchcoats and Singing Lions

**06. WITH TRENCHCOATS AND SINGING LIONS**

HK: "Crap! Run, Peter, RUN!!!"

Zack: "HK! Wake UP!"

HK: "Wha?! Oh, it was only a dream!"

Zack: "What was it about?"

HK: "Er..."

-Roughly 43 minutes later-

Zack and HK: "OMG RUN PETER! AAAAHHHHH!"

Angeal: "Will you two shut up?! Geez, HK, this recent obsession with _Heroes_ and zombies is an unhealthy combination!"

HK: "But he was gonna eat his BRAINS!"

Angeal: "..."

HK: "With telekinesis!"

Angeal: "..."

HK: "WITH A CLIFF HANGER!"

* * *

_Previously on_ Heroes..._ I mean,_ _Advent Children Complete Countdown Party..._

HK: "Cloud entered Dr. Gast's apartment, finding it apparantly empty. Suddenly, he was ATTACKED by a new Midgar 'hero' by the name of--"

Angeal: "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN AT ALL!"

* * *

HK: "I've decided to redeem my devious ways!"

Tifa: "And would I be interested in that?!"

HK: "Because I feel bad that there's no Doritos!"

Tifa: "?"

HK: "I mean, for playing a major role in your recent downfalls."

Vincent: "A plural?"

HK: "Indeed."

Tifa: "..."

HK: "And I know this isn't really a Countdown party anymore, since ACC has already debuted approx. over two months ago since this chapter update. But, the party shall still continue!"

Tifa: "And why's that?"

HK: "Elementary, my dear Lockhart. It's because I'M still counting down the days until I can fully witness ACC for myself!"

Vincent: "So, this is a selfish redemption..."

HK: "Exactly! Now, do you want my help, Tifa?"

Tifa: "Er..."

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! Lockhart has too much pride to accept HK's help!"

* * *

Tifa: "Sure, why not?"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Aerith: "Tee h-- HUH?!"

* * *

HK: "Hooray! ACC HAS ARRIVED!"

Vincent: "But shall the dance proceed?"

HK: "Heck yeah! Let's get the ball rollin'!|

Tifa: "Wait, did HK just fully understand that metaphor of yours just used?"

Vincent: "Apparantly so."

* * *

HK: "We should start with some karaoke!"

Vincent: "But I thought you hate karaoke?"

HK: "I do! But it's interesting to see which songs you folks would sing! (starts to sing) Fighting EVIL by the MOONLIGHT! Winning LOVE by the DAYLIGHT! ... Something-something-something-SOMETHING; she's the one name Sailor MOON!"

Vincent: "...I see."

* * *

_After some lengthy convincing, the other party members regrouped in Seventh Heaven. Meanwhile, a mysterious character donned in a trenchcoat entered the bar with the other invited extras._

Mysterious trenchcoat man: "Fufufu... Braiiiiiins..."

HK (singing): "Sailor VENUS! Sailor MERCURY! Sailor MAR-- Whoa, who said that?!"

M.T.M: "Braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins..."

HK: "(nervous tone) Eh heh heh heh... I'm just hearing things... Eh heh heh heh..."

M.T.M: "Meow."

HK: "HOLY MOTHER OF JENOVA! IT'S YOU!"

M.T.M: "Indeed."

HK: "Trenchcoat!"

MTM, aka Trenchcoat: "Yo."

HK: "Quiet with the Quinto quotes!"

Trenchcoat: "Was that alliteration intended?"

HK: "Er, sure. Whatcha up to this time?"

Trenchcoat: "This." _-points to metal collar around neck-_

HK: "Seems like the cat has COLLARED you!"

Trenchcoat: "...Nice. Yeah, but he's making me work... for YOU!"

HK: "Aww, I should send him a postcard!"

Trenchcoat: "Three fanfics."

HK: "Huh?"

Trenchcoat: "That's the deal until I'm off the hook! I must commentate for three of your fanfics!"

HK: "Must've been bad. How'd you upset him?"

Trenchcoat: "Er, I'd rather not say at the moment. So anyhoo, I see we're at a party."

HK: "Nice sleuthing, Sherlock. Didn't you notice the sign?"

Trenchcoat: "Seventh Heaven, yeah. I thought I'd stumbled upon the stage set for the show."

HK: "Well, enjoy the fun, Trenchcoat, because my next fanfic's coming up soon, hopefully."

Trenchcoat: "Er, 'hopefully'?"

HK: "Yeah. I'd like to finish 'Cid and Shera's Wedding!' when I get the chance."

Trenchcoat: "But you could've wrapped that one up last August!"

HK: "It's called laziness, Trenchy! Now, go mingle with the locals!"

* * *

Tifa: "And you are?"

Trenchcoat: "Talvis Ren Coates, my lady. But friends and enemies alike know me as Trenchcoat. _-bows politely- _Are you the fine hostess of this affair?"

Tifa: "Yes, yes I am. It was in shambles for awhile, but we're back on track! Care for a drink?"

Trenchcoat: "I'm parched! Please, lead the way!" _-both Tifa and Trenchcoat walk over to the bar-_

* * *

Vincent: "What is with his tongue of language?"

HK: "He thinks he's a ladies' man."

Vincent: "Then why so informal with you?"

HK: "It's kinda how you would talk differently to Hojo than you would with Lucrecia. Kinda."

Vincent: "...Lucrecia..."

* * *

Cid: "(BEEP!) this (BEEP!)! Red, let's (BEEPING!) show them!"

Nanaki: "Just no rap, please."

Cid: "Now why the (BEEPING!) (BEEP!) would I (BEEPING!) listen to (BEEPING!) rap?! Or (BEEPING!) sing it?! (BEEP!)"

Nanaki: "Oh, no reason. _-looks the other way-_"

Cid: "No (BEEPING!) sarcasm with (BEEPING!) me! (BEEP!) (BEEP!) (BEEP!)"

* * *

Cid: "EVERY-(BEEPING!)-ONE! SHUT THE (BEEP!) UP! ME AND (BEEPING!) LION KING HERE WOLD LIKE TO (BEEPING!) SING A (BEEPING!) SONG! (BEEP!)"

Shera: "I told the Captain he should've taken his anger meds earlier..."

Cid: "(BEEP!) SHERA, I (BEEPING!) HEARD THAT!"

Shera: "...Sorry Captain."

Everyone Else: "..."

* * *

Tifa (with drink in hand): "And so he leaves just to help one kid who he found in the middle of nowhere?! What about me, huh?! HUH?!"

Trenchcoat (also with drink in hand): "This Cloud sounds like a jerk."

Tifa: "It was always about him and that damn Buster Sword! Honor and pride... who fed him THAT crap?!"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Zack: "Achoo!"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee!"

* * *

Cid: "SHUT (BEEPING!) UP!!!"

Nanaki: "We would like to begin..."

Yuffie: "w00t! BELIEVE IT!"

_-wind silently blows through Seventh Heaven, with a casual tumbleweed passing by-_

Yuffie: "Eh heh heh heh..."

Cid: "(BEEP!) We'll show 'em! Now, for the 'secret (BEEPING!) weapon'!"

Nanaki: "Uh oh..."

Cid: "Now don't (BEEPING!) talk like (BEEPING!) that! Sure, I'm a (BEEPING!) bitter old (BEEPING!) man with a (BEEPING!) huge chip on my (BEEPING!) shoulder, and you might be the ugliest (BEEPING!) mutant (BEEPING!) breed of a (BEEPING!) Furby and a (BEEPING!) Digimon and a (BEEPING!) Charizard pt (BEEPING!) together, doesn't (BEEPING!) mean we can't sing this (BEEPING!) song! I WON'T BE (BEEPING!) (BEEP!) JUDGES NO (BEEPING!) MORE!!!"

Nanaki: "...Whoa, you're right. Mike!"

Mike: "Yes?"

Cid: "(BEEP!), not you, the (BEEPING!) microphone! And you're supposed to be (BEEPING!) watching the (BEEPIG!) _Shera_, you nitwit! (BEEP!)"

Mike: "Oops, my bad, Captain!" _-leaves-_

Cid: "(BEEP!)"

Nanaki: "Start?"

Cid: "(BEEP!) YEAH!"

Cid (starts to sing... Cid style): "I wanna be the (BEEPING!) best, like no one (BEEPING!) was! To catch them is my (BEEPING!) test; To (BEEPING!) train them is my (BEEPING!) cause!"

Nanaki (singing): "Umm... I will travel across the land, searching far and wide..."

Cid: "SING DAMMIT!"

Cait Sith: "Oh! _-singing-_ Teach yee Pokemon to understand-"

Yuffie: "THE Mat-- POWER that's INSIDE!!!"

Everyone: "POKEMON!"

* * *

-Somewhere Within the Lifestream-

Jessie, Biggs and Wedge: "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!"

Zack (to Aerith): "It's you and ME!"

Angeal (impassively): "_-sigh-_ I know it's my destiny..."

Everyone Else: "POKEMON!"

* * *

-Healin Lodge (lol)-

Reno: "Ooooh, you're MY BEST FRIEND!"

Tseng and Rufus: "In a world we must defend!!!"

The Turks: "Pokemon!"

* * *

-Somewhere in the internet (?)-

Hojo: "Gotta catch 'em all! Heh heheh..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Vincent: "Our hearts so true... Lucrecia..."

Denzel and Marlene: "Our courage will pull us through!"

Tifa: "Back to bed, you two!"

Cloud: "...You teach me and I'll teach you..."

Everyone: "POKE-MON!"

Cid: "Gotta (BEEPIN!) catch 'em all!"

Nanaki: "Gotta catch 'em all! ...Wait, why does this sound ironic...?"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Jessie, Biggs and Wedge: "Yeeaaaaaaaaaaa....."

Zack: "Every challenge along he way--"

Aerith: "Tee hee hee! With courage I can face!"

Angeal: "I will battle everyday..."

Sephiroth: "To claim my rightful place..."

Everyone Else: "S-Sephiroth?!"

Zack: "Er... Come with me, the time is right!"

Jessie, Biggs and Wedge: "There's no better teeeeeeeeam!"

Aerith: "Arm in arm, we'll win the fight!"

Angeal: "..."

Aerith: "ANGEAL!"

Angeal: "Oh, um... It's always been our dream."

* * *

-Healin Lodge-

The Turks: "Pokemon!"

Rufus: "Gotta catch 'em all!"

Elena: "It's you and me!"

Tseng: "I know it's my destiny..."

Reno and Rude: "POKEMON!"

Reno: "Ooooooh, you're my best friend!"

Rude: "Thank you."

Reno: "Well, OFF COURSE!"

Elena: "GUYS!"

Rude: "Sorry. In a world we must defend..."

* * *

-Seventh Heaven, Edge-

Everyone: "POKE-MOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Yuffie: "Gotta catch all of those Materia!"

Vincent: "..."

Tifa: "Gotta catch 'em all!!!"

Cloud: "Our hearts... so true?"

Nanaki: "Our courage will pull us through!"

Cait Sith: "Yee teach me and I'll teach yee!"

Everyone: "Po-Ke-Mooooooon!"

Everyone: "Gotta catch 'em ALL!"

* * *

-Somewhere within the Lifestream-

Everyone Else: "Gotta catch 'em all!"

* * *

-Healin Lodge-

The Turks: "Gotta catch 'EM ALL!"

* * *

-In the part of the Lifestream lies Sephiroth's secret evil lair-

Sephiroth: "Yes... Gotta catch 'em all... Hmhmhm..."

* * *

-Now, in four way split screen that shows Seventh Heaven, the Lifestream, the Healin Lodge, and Sephiroth's Bat Cave-

Everyone: "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!!!"

Trenchcoat: "Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa....."

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE POKEMON THEME SONG OR ITS LYRICS. I JUST DECIDED TO BORROW IT TO RELIVE THE GOOD OL' DAYS OF POKEMON-- THE 1990's!!! OF COURSE, I AM NOT SELLING THE SONG FOR MY OWN PROFIT OR SOMETHING SILLY LIKE THAT. POKEMON BELONGS TO NINTENDO, BUT WILL FOREVER RESIDE IN OUR HEARTS. SNORLAX PWNS ALL. THANK YOU. AND OF COURSE, IN THE ORIGINAL, THERE WAS NO (BEEPING!) SOUD EFFECTS EITHER. BLAME CID.**

Cid: "Say what?! There wasn't?! (BEEP!)"

____


End file.
